i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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