I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
