i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
