what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
