She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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