That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
where are my eyebrows?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
