i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
