I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
