i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
