Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
