So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
His nipple licking is glorious
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