the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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