with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
