one two three fourrrrnication!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
