im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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