Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize