you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
