On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
