I just pynch a tree in the face
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
