We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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