I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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