Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
