Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
