do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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