He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
