i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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