Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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