You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
