do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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