why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
