She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
