Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
