I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the day after is always just damage control
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
