Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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