so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
