its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I currently don't understand fingers.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
