I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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