she looked like the bat from fern gully.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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