...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
