I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
