It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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