Already got asked if we're dating
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude i'm inner monologue high
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
