new low.... made out with someone while peeing
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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