Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
