I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You're like the curious george of whores
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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