I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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