i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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