Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
