You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
