i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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