she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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