shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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