That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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