went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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