just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
