forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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