cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
