dude i'm inner monologue high
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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