I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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