I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
