I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
