I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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