i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
