even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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