i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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