I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Do vagina's smell?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
