Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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