Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
