Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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