party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
